Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
