Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
