I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
