Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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