apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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