I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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