I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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