What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
