Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
