I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
