Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
