my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
