it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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