yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
