just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
