My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
So much rum. So many feels.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
