This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize