She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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