He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
