theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
