Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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