...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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