we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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