I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
we should paint friendship bongs
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