I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
