I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
