he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
