thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
