I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
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