I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
