You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Randomize
