a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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