I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize