Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
