hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize