You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
