She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
