Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
