can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
