ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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