I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
