I'm really into asian looking animals
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize