Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
