Heybabeimwearingurpanties
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
