Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Randomize