i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
