Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
