You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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