the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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