Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize