i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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