just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize