My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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