Cold hands, warm shart.
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
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