I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Randomize