I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
