fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
There are leaves in my underwear?
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