Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
