how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
