So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
